December Blues

So, its been about a week since I’ve graduated  and I have no perspective of what I could do with my life. Everywhere I’ve applied does not want to hire me, I’m stuck in SC, and all I ever do in my free time is waste it on alcohol and cigarettes. I know it’s not the most productive, but I just can’t seem to get off my ass and actually do something productive- like go for a run and just exercise in general. My body is so out of shape and I have really let myself go (I’m still hot though, I won’t lie). It’s just hard knowing that I’m so capable and willing- and at this point desperate to do anything. I know I’m great and destined for greatness. It’s finding the right people at the right time in the right place that is the challenge. There’s gotta be someone out there that would want to take a chance on me. I won’t disappoint and to my knowledge I never have.

 In other news the holidays were pretty decent. I spent part of it freezing on the side of a highway trying to hitch a ride, after my roommate’s boyfriend who happens to stay with us’s moped broke down. We went to a a local bar in Conway, SC to see one of my friends at her job she recenty got as a server and my roomie’s bf as nice as he was offered to drive us there on his moped since we both don’t have a car and I’m incapable of driving anything anywhere in the first place. in return i promised to pay for all of the drinks. It was a Christmas eve party where ll the employees made a homemade dish in the crock pot. they had dressing/stuffing, green beans, chili, turkey and ham and assorted cookies. Everything I tried was good. the chili tasted like someone had killed a dog that night and mixed it in the chili but once you got over the taste, it was pretty delectable as well. so we had a great time and our fair share of drinks and by the time it was time to go and we were at the moped, turns out it didn’t want to start up. there was a problem with the throttle, but in my head that didn’t mean shit, it just meant the whole thing was broke. As inconvenient as that was, I wasn’t mad or scared. I kinda saw it coming, just because before we had even left the house he told that he most likely would be able to get us there but not home. So I stood there in the cold watching him tinker with his moped and run around the block with it hoping that something would miraculously happen to get it started up with no success. We ended up walking… with the moped in tow. I, for one, had no problem with this, only because I spend the majority of my time walking anyway. These feet have some good fucking mileage on them i swear, and since the moped wasn’t mine I definitely wasn’t about to hep drag it along- but I ended up helping, because I couldn’t stand taking breaks ever 25 seconds he needed to take because of his back. I swear he isn’t too old, I mean he’s a couple years shy of reaching his 30’s, but damn! Watching him, if late twenties are that horrible, I totally need to get up off my ass and do all I can to prevent being that pathetic. But anyway, we’ve been out in the cold for about an hour and only made it about a mile and half. The roomie bf tried hitching a ride every chance he could get. Surprisingly, there were allot of cars out that night, but not surprisingly, none of their asses wanted to pull over and help. If I had a car and was driving at 2 o’clock in the morning on Christmas day, the last thing I would have on my mind is pulling over on a sketchy forest surrounded and swamp engulf road to check on a black kid in a hoodie, and a white middle aged looking dude that probably hasn’t showered and definitely hasn’t seen a pair of hair clippers in about five years. But luck was on our side. Someone actually pulled over and checked on us to see if we needed help. and I must say, when the man got out of his car to take a look at how he can help us, I was ready to say that were fine and he could just continue with his business. Given the circumstances and looking at this man dressed as if he had been in the swamps digging up the remains of his last wife he had murdered, just so that he could feed his to gigantic barking dogs he had in the back of his truck, HELL YEAH I dIdn’t want him to help us. The man tied the moped to the back and the roomie bf stayed on the moped so that he could  keep it balanced… so my ass had to get in the front passenger seat with the man! As soon as I got in that car I rolled down the window and kept my face stuck out of it, just in case he wanted to try and chloroform me. Then I thought about the possibility of him having a syringe he could stab me with to make me pass out, so I turned my body towards him to keep a good eye on the guy. Turns out he was simply nice- and not to mention a Christmas blessing. we made it home and clearly out of that truck alive and well. I just still don’t have a damn job.
There’s nothing really to report about Christmas day. The roomie bf cooked for us, after all he is a well talented cook, and we spent the rest of the day watching Christmas movies, while enjoying alcohol and cigarettes. God how productive…


  1. Wishing you the best on your job search!

  2. Pingback: Housewarning Party | Hunny, lemme tell u 'bout it!

Hunny, tell me 'bout it!

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