Is it even possible to maintain healthy friendships with exes, hookups, booty calls and “turned down opportunities”?!?! I mean, I’m just gonna go ahead and guess maybe not. But if it works out pretty well for you, props.
Then again, that’s not really what I’m tryin’ to talk bout. I mean, I haven’t been around the block, or put myself out there enough to talk about relationships like that, but then again, I feel like I could still talk about it. But I digress.
I was hanging out at my friend’s house and the British just so happens to live there too. Of course we like the guy, so he was more than welcome to hang out with us, however, he “allegedly” (because I think he always gives excuses) wasn’t feeling well and wanted to stay locked in his room as he usually does. Which is fine. #no shame!
My friends and I were just recapping what all went down on the weekend, just because that’s always fun. No one ever remembers every detail, so it’s great to rediscover everything by piecing together whatever memories we were able to retain from a fun weekend the morning after.
One thing I guess we mentioned, like I said, was the Brit’s dancing. Now, many of us I’m sure, has a certain signature dance style, and we all feel fuckin’ sexy when we do it. But Hunny, not everyone’s sexy is another person’s sexy. To someone else it could be humorous, awkward, beautiful, artistic, painful to watch, adorable… the possibilities are endless! In the case of our neighbor from across the pond, I see his dancing as a bit awkward, especially when I’m dancing with or around him. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s definitely a tad too off beat for me, and very expressive, in a seizure/heart attack kind of way.
British overheard this and accused me of being fake and rude. The thing is, there have been multiple occasions where I have described his dancing to him and even showed him what his moves look like to me. So I was very confused as to why all of a sudden this was a big deal now. And as far as him being able to hear what we were talking about goes, I knew that already. If his ass isn’t sleeping, he’s spying. He said something along those lines before anyway, so I was very well aware that if I say something, I need to be able to stand by what I say.
His whole reasoning for coming at me seemed a bit uncalled for and irrelevant. He then went on to ask me how he could ever trust me again, and that his confidence is shattered, and that he feels uncomfortable being in the same room with me, and that he’s very disappointed with me to the point of considering it as a type of betrayal, since we used to have a thing and I should know “better”.
I would apologize about this and all, but it’s nothing I haven’t told him in person before, and in my mind, he is very insecure about himself in the first place and is very stubborn, when it comes to people trying to open his eyes to another person’s point of view, or when I’m just trying to get on common grounds with him to try and have a “constructive” conversation with him. There have been multiple occasions where he felt uncomfortable and insecure and insulted and would simply run home, be mad at the world and not want to talk about it in a rational way. I guess he can’t articulate what’s really goin on in his lil’ noggin.
I have spent ample time talking about and explaining my part to this kid, but clearly I’m not getting through. I always tell him if my friends and I didn’t like him in any type of way, he would know. If he thinks we’re making fun of him, we’re not. We do it all the time with each other. He just seems to not be able to take jokes as he likes to dish them out.
He asked me whether I felt I did anything wrong that would be worthy of an apology speech. I honestly think not. I also want to refrain from saying that he’s in the wrong, even though the Holy Ghost himself is telling my spirit that the guy owes some kind of apology to me.
With him, I’m just getting exhausted trying to make him feel included, welcome and comfortable. I could go the rest of the semester doing that, but at the end of the day, it’s really up to him. It’s up to him to break the habit of feeling… whatever his deal is. I’m just bringing the habit to his attention and letting the little lad know that my friends and I are there for him, despite what he may think.
I hope this makes sense, and I’d be interested in hearing what your take on situations like this would be. Hunny, tell me ’bout it!
Thanks for reading!