Behind the Slam piece

You know how you meet someone and you probably have known of them for quite sometime? And then, like, you hang out and stuff to see if this person is really the person you’ve kind of expected them to be, and it turns out you’re right!? THEN you get drunk together and are talking in an intimate one-on-one type setting and you guys are getting all honest and real and shit, so you find out that actually, you’ve been pretty wrong about that person!?!?!…(but in a way, still right-as-fuck)

I had a moment just like that with a friend of mine! We’ll call him Mr. Slamma jamma. Back in the day I used to see Mr. Slamma jamma every time my friends and I went out. When I saw him he always had some guy following him around the club like some drug addict suffering from withdrawal begging too get their fix of heroin from their pimp to no avail, because they haven’t been bringing in that sex money. Every week it was a different guy. My friends and I started calling Mr. Slamma jamma’s guy-of-the-week a “slam piece”… cuz you know they be ‘slammin’. As in, like, fuck. They fuckin’.

It’s definitely a commendable skill to have, being able to wield and control disposable dick hungry gays. Attractive ones too, for the most part at least. Hunny, if I had game like that, I’d have a different person EVERY. HOUR. OF THE. DAY! But then I’d be labeled as a whore… Which was what my friends and I labeled Mr. Slamma jamma. Especially after we started hanging out with him. We’d notice how much time he spends on Grindr and Jack’d and if there are other gay dating apps out there, I’m sure he gets client bookings from there as well. There have been times where he would bring a different dude around every day, especially now that the vacation/tourist season is around the corner.

Every time Mr. Slamma jamma mentioned anything about his newest slam piece I’d vomit a little inside. Like, your libido must be almighty and powerful to be slammin all that ass each day non-stop. Not to mention you must have an infinite supply of condoms. Like, which brand are you subscribed to!?! Unless condoms aren’t always involved. That was probably my main concern or problem I had. So many guys. Every day. You know they fuckin’. Being labeled whore. At some point you start to really believe these things you tell yourself about this person are true.

We were hanging out one evening and were taking about how another friend of mine has been hooking up a lot lately, which segwayed into interrogating Mr. Slamma jamma of his ways. Unfortunately I can’t remember what he said in particular, but he did squash the assumption I had of him that he’s slept with every boy he’s brought around, or every new friend he introduces us to. Mr. Slamma jamma also told us he’s had feelings for a select few of his slam pieces. Now, Hunny, that shit was mind-blowing to me! I didn’t even consider Mr. Slamma jamma as the feelings type. I mean, it always seemed like he treated his slam pieces like cattle on the way to the slaughter house, and personality wise, Mr. Slamma jamma is very ferocious. He has such a sharp mind and tongue, he can say whatever’s necessary to make you wanna commit (or simply consider) suicide.

So I was very thrown off guard when he said he had feelings.

It also made me see the guy in a new light. And my respect level for him was raised a little bit. I feel like it’s so rare that people let other people in like that, which is why when I meet people that can do that, my respect for them is of much more… value? Not to say I run around the world being disrespectful, unless you tell my why you lead the life in the way that you do. I also understand that there are things in life of which some people aren’t able to speak of (just yet), but I do hope they get there. Eventually.

I love my friends and all, but Hunny, we have yet to do some shit like that. I feel like if we ever get around to spilling our inner thoughts and feelings the way that Mr. Slamma jamma did, it WILL be a shit-show. Tissues and shots will need to be on standby.

Pourin’ for the homies.

Thanks for reading!


Hunny, tell me 'bout it!

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