R.I.P Four Loko

The other day some horrible news was brought to my attention via the social media.


I did not take it lightly.

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Some people didn’t seem to understand why this was some pretty big news and left comments that made it seem like Four Loko was easily replaceable.

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Hunny, you can’t replace a Four Loko! Here in Dyrtle, the only thing that’ll get you fucked up cheaper than a $2.79 Four Loko is a $1.79 King Cobra. You may be savin’ a dolla, but you’re sacrificing exquisite taste, fun colors and that LOKO DRUUUUUUNK!

Allegedly this sought after alcoholic beverage is getting taken down from the shelves due to it’s high popularity among teenagers and on college campuses and led to reports of heightened binge drinking and dangerous consequences such as severe intoxication, according to thewire.com, which is where I’m getting all of this from.

But I mean, “severe intoxication”?! That’s like with every drink anywhere though. I’m pretty sure (maybe even know) that more respectable distilled alcoholic beverage brands give off a “different” kind of “severe intoxication” than a Four Loko, but Hunny, alcohol is alcohol, intoxication is intoxication. With or without a Four Loko, if teens and college students want to be obliterated out of their minds, Hunny, a way will be found.

Phusion (which I guess is the company name) also, allegedly, needs to alter its advertising so as not to promote binge drinking and not advertising on school or college property except at licensed retailers. They also agreed to not use models under the age of 25 who might be interpreted as being underage.

Now, I’ve never seen any advertising for Four Loko done on TV or at my School, and I couldn’t find anything that seemed authentically “Loko” on the web, but I did check out their facebook page and I mean, it looks just like any other beer or energy drink advertisement I’ve seen. I can’t really detect the difference. I’m sure if Four Loko needs to do something different about its advertising, something can be done without taking away the FOUR LOKO!!!

Phusion’s president, Jim Sloan, said our company did not violate any laws and we disagree with the allegations …

And Hunny, I believe you. To me, it always comes down to the consumers who can’t handle what they thought they could. Anyone who’s ever had a lick of alcohol and/or has an education knows that alcohol has the potential to make you dumb and as far as I know, dumb people tend to not do the smartest things. So… ya need to be smart about ya drinking, that’s all. But it’s not the Four Loko’s fault somebody drank more than they should have on thirsty Thursday, instead of saving the rest for fucked up Friday.

I told one of my friends about what was about to become of the Four Loko and he decided to do his own investigation on the subject.




I guess I have nothing to worry bout anymore, if @fourloko says so themselves! Looks like there will be more memories to come with that beautiful 23.5 oz. can of premium malt!

Refreshing lemonade through  squiggly straw

Refreshing lemonade through squiggly straws is always a good time


Peach brings people together

Peach brings people together

Fruit Punch gots your back

Fruit Punch gots your back!

Sneak peek: My loko mural I'm working on

Sneak peek: My loko mural I’m working on


Dream Four

Dream Four!

Thanks for reading!


One comment

  1. Pingback: R.I.P Four Loko | MisbeHaven

Hunny, tell me 'bout it!

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