How far would u go for a friendship? I want to say that I would go some ways for a friend as far as lending a helping hand goes. Like, if you’re hungry, I have some peanut butter, soy sauce, hot sauce, mustard, Hunny take your pick! Need money? I have a coupon laying around somewhere. Deathly ill? ill txt u a 😦 emoji.
Lately though, I’ve been wondering about how much effort one should put in a friendship. There was a humongous, unnecessary and drawn out battle of the divas recently. All because someone felt left out. It sounds like a sad sympathetic story, but it really wasn’t. There’s this thing on the iphone where you can send a message to all of your friends at once- a group chat- which my friends had made in order to make plans for whenever we go out. Some people like coordinating when and where everyone will meet and get fucked up, which is perfectly fine. I like it when I know when and where I’ll be getting belligerent out of my mind. Of course the group chat was used for other things as well, and was no longer fully utilized for its initial purpose and I guess a select few, that relied on it to figure out where we were and what we were doing weren’t happy about what the group chat had become.The ones who would work late and aren’t always able to get on their phones at work always had difficulties figuring out where everyone was. It’s understandable that one would get a little frustrated, if one is having a communication problem for meeting up with their friends, due to inadequate group chat activity that was supposed to be the key to finding the rest of the homosexual posse. But at the same time, if you REALLY wanted to hang out with your friends and party and get fucked up and shit, and no one is getting in touch with you for whatever reason, after you’ve figured out that the group chat isn’t doing it for you, wouldn’t you take it upon YOURSELF to take all measures possible to figure out where people are and what they are doing? Like, CALL somebody?!
Apparently, that didn’t cross the mind of one of my friends in particular at all. He was under the impression that the rest of us should have been doing everything possible to figure out his whereabouts. Not resting until we get a hold of him and find out what his status was. Hunny, of course that’s not gonna happen. All the time at least. With no luck,we did our part. We called him, texted him asking where he was and whether he planned on coming out. However, tracking down a person once one is already in the midst of the long awaited alcohol infused event, is pretty difficult and unlikely, especially if the person that’s M.I.A. hasn’t been talking to you.
I personally never call or text anyone anyway. EVERYBODY, including the one that felt left out, always contacts me if they want to know what I’m doing and whether I’ve met up with the rest of the group. I’m not apart of the group chat, you see. I don’t have an iphone, so I usually have to be informed of what everybody else is doing. But if someone I consider a close friend hasn’t been talking to me and has been acting very distant and unreachable for whatever reason, I’m for damn sure not going to go out of my way to figure out what’s up. I’m just going to assume that the person is going through something and/or busy and call it a day. I can’t help you, if you’re not seeking help.
What ended up happening was that the other friends and I, confronted the “left out” individual about his comments on social media and his absence from us, even when we eventually ended up in the same room. It took a while, because this individual is a tough cookie to crack and to understand, but he finally admitted that he felt left out and the communication between us, as far as the group chat goes, was not working as well as it used to.
Hunny, those are very simple issues to to fix, but it seems like they are always the toughest ones to solve! A lot of people that I’ve encountered at least, always wait until the “problem” gets personal. That’s when it really becomes a problem though!! Like I said, I can’t help you unless you want me to help, and I can’t figure out a solution, unless the problem is presented to me. Fixing an issue between two parties is always a two way street, and it is hard to figure out who ought to make the first move/break the silence, which probably was another thing I should have thought about, but even once the issue was being addressed, I detected a lot of pride and stubbornness, which is yet another hurdle that I really don’t like dealing with. No matter how serious the issue, I feel that both parties should come together in a state of humbleness and vulnerability. I feel like that is when a real solution can be found, because I feel like no matter how hard of an outer shell one exudes, we all are vulnerable, we all want to be understood, and most importantly, we all want love and happiness… Which I think is pretty difficult to find going about life wearing a “Fuck you” on your sleeve.
Anyway, to wrap things up, I’m talking to my friend again and I hope that I’ve made it clear to him (and the world for that matter, I guess), that if something is wrong, I am approachable and willing to work something out with you.
Thanks for reading!