“Drunk words are sober thoughts”
My friend says this all the time. Like any other typical privileged young person, I am very fond of the drink.
I love the soothing burn of good liquor going down my throat.
I love that bite I experience when cheap alcohol first touches my lips.
I love that refreshing sip of an ice-cold beer.
I love the sophistication I tend to exude when drinking wine as I encourage my peers to slap the bag.
I love that there’s an alcoholic beverage out there for every budget.
I love that when everyone seems to have turned their back on you, alcohol’s there to have your back.
I honestly could go on and on about why I enjoy a good drink, but I think I’ve made my point. However, that’s not my “guilty pleasure” or anything I used to be ashamed of. I also don’t ever feel bad when I reach the point of the fall-all-over-the-place-and-ruin-everyone’s-lives drunk. What tends to get to me is that little stage in between, where I tend to just. not. give a fuck. and no matter who I talk to, I tell them everything I think:
- what I think about the person I am talking to
- what I think about the hot people in the room
- what I think about the ugly people in the room
- what I think about the secrets and problems people tend to share with me
- what I think about they momma, they daddy, they doawda… and I think you get the point right?
It’s not like I go about my sober life not telling the truth, but I filter a lot of what I say and try to be thoughtful of the other persons feelings. However, when I drink, the biggest thing I’m concerned with tends to be whether I can express myself without losing train of thought, and whether those thoughts were understandable (#slurredwords).
What really made me feel bad about this was that I wouldn’t even remember! The next day or following weekend I would see the person again and eventually they would ask:
“Do you remember saying this to me?“
Of course, I always answered no, so they would tell me the whole story. Every time, I was very shocked that I would say such a thing (out loud)! Each time that happens it feels like I’m listening to a recording of my brain. That used to make me feel so ashamed of myself, but not anymore. I never mean for anyone to hear my unfiltered thoughts, but Hunny, at least now you know!
Thanks for reading!