Sex is a major reoccurring topic in my little circle of friends and acquaintances: Hookups, relationships, grindr notifications, penis cousins, blowjob or handy-j, condom or bareback ,spit or sallow… all very fun and interesting topics. I’m always curious about how other people live their lives (if I give fuck, of course).
It seems like my friends have a story to tell on the daily, whether it’s about someone who seems to have been around the block, new to the block, or always tryna host a damn block party. I on the other hand have no story to contribute to our gossip girl sessions. There was a time when I felt my “sexperiences” were worth sharing… but Hunny, if having a sex life was equivalent to being a member of Destiny’s Child… I would be Michelle.
Despite all the safety measures and resources out there at my horny disposal I just cant see myself “throwing” myself at anyone. Having grown up in a religious setting, it’s been instilled in me that sex was something sacred and that it should be saved for marriage. My pastor and the youth leader at the time called forth all the young people to pledge that they would save themselves for marriage, and gave them all a fancy little purity ring. I didn’t take my little ass up to altar, because despite my young and gullible age, I knew I wasn’t about to keep that promise. I was very aware that I was way too young to be making lifetime promises like that.
Throughout the years, and as I got older, the thought of saving oneself for marriage became more and more obsolete to me. 8th grade was when all the guys started to report about having their first time; the cool guys, obvi. It urks me to admit that for reasons I cannot fathom, it didn’t really bother me that I wasn’t part of the “cool” crowd. So naturally, I wasn’t getting any pussy, I had no sex stories to tell and therefore had nothing to contribute to the “my first time” series. I didn’t like girls anyway! I wanted to know what dick tastes like!
I didn’t know that at the time though. There were moments, however, when I realized that I was gravitating more towards the guys at my school; feelings which I fought against of course. Who am I? A fag!? A Schwuchtel?!?
Hunny, locker rooms were the worst,
*whispers* but the best.
I had a whole new demon to deal with that I felt no one else at my school had to go through. I was very confused about what I wanted in life, in my bed, and up my ass, so I put sex on the back-burner, until I could figure my life out.
Fast forward to college. I had a better understanding of myself, I loved myself, I felt and looked sexy, and was super ready to jump into the dating scene.
Only problem was, I had no idea of how homosexuals met… until I started making friends, who introduced me to the G . Hunny… let’s just say that’s not my cup of tea. I don’t even get a kick out of listening to my friend’s grindr hookup stories, unless they’re very funny embarrassing fails.
I virtually haven’t done anything with a guy yet, and the little that I have done hasn’t left me wanting to take it to the next level, which I guess would be penetrative action. It hasn’t even left me wanting to do any repeats, unless I’m feeling really hospitable, or drunk; but anything goes, when inebriated.
However, jut like any other 6 year old girl, I wanna remember my first fuck!
I’m definitely in no rush though. My friends seem to be concerned about my ambiguous sex drive, and that I may lead a life living like Mary…
But I’m not gonna push anything that’s not there. It’s just that nobody’s been up to par yet, right? Right.
We’ll go with that.
Thanks for reading!