On the Road…again

For my friends Birthday we had set our hearts on going to Atlanta, GA together. Me, The Birthday Boy and our other friend, The Minor. During the days leading up to the actual departure the problem arose that we couldn’t find any clubs that were 18 and up. Obviously, leaving The Minor in the hotel while Birthday Boy and I turned up was out of the question, but I still was hoping we were going to go  anyway. The only research we really did on the Atlanta night life was via the internet. Everybody and their momma knows not to trust everything the internet offers, but my friends clearly missed that memo! Birthday Boy invited me over to his house, where he and Minor were going to break the news to me. I didn’t take it lightly at all. I hopelessly struggled to find a different city located far away from South Carolina. The alternative city my friends suggested to me was Charlotte North Carolina, BUT I had been there n done that. I really wanted to go somewhere that wasn’t a Carolina. Somewhere our other SC friends wouldn’t easily be able to meet up with us and then simply go back home if they wanted.

Minor had recently been to Charlotte for its Pride celebration. He wasn’t able to actually attend the parade, but he still came home with interesting stories about people that he had the chance to reconnect with and others he had just met. After hearing about the stories, I sure. as. FAAACK did not want to go to Charlotte to watch minor hang out with them again.

I myself had been to Charlotte my sophmore year of college with my roommate-at-the-time, and his friends. THAT trip left a sour taste in my mouth. We went for spring break 2012. We did some pretty cool stuff, like rock climbing,


NASCAR racing,

laser tag,

and fine(er) dining.

The dining part was the only thing I would’ve had on my list, if I had been the master planner. I wanted to go to museums, and aquariums, and theater shows and sight seeing… pretty much everything that was white. Sadly, the only problem was that I had already had my white day, which consisted of 2 hours of the top forty station on the radio while driving to Charlotte and the empty as fuck techno white club, which apparently only white people go to. The rest of the trip was BLACK, obviously. Actually, even more intense than that, it was ni**a. I was so uncomfortable and upset for the remainder of the trip. The only way I coped was by being either moderately or severely inebriated for the remainder of the trip. However, I will say in comparison to the Charlotte trip with the black people and the trip with my friends. I will have to give it to the ni**gas.

The first night my friends and I arrived to Charlotte, the first club Minor suggested (that he knew he could get into), he didn’t get into. It was a Friday but the minor nights are Saturdays, apparently. We ended up calling Uber and going to Scorpios which was cash only.

First of all, I didn’t really wanna take a cab and second, I hate a club that’s cash only, regardless of whether someone covers me, or I have to pay myself. I ended up having fun within the last 30 mins before we had to go. The free draft was pretty helpful.

Our hotel was nice. I liked the view and location,

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Charlotte hasn't been dat bad (so far).

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but my only thing was that I have never been to a hotel where there was no complimentary breakfast. The ONE most important meal of the day, and this hotel was denying us of that! I woke up so early in the morning the day after our arrival too! My friends had an issue with that, but when I’m on vacation I like to wake up as early as possible and go explore. I got ready, went down to the lobby, figured out the hotel wasn’t gonna feed me, and walked into town to check out the scene.

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City life sure is something.

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For the most part there were only various eateries. I stopped at this smoothie place and Panera Bread for breakfast and made note of all the other places I waned to eat at eventually, like this Hibachi place and some soul food joint. I also came accross some kind of museum, but it was closed on the weekends, and a theatre which had a lot of upcoming performances, so clearly we picked the wrong weekend. The more outskirt I went the more sketchy the town got, so I made a U-turn and headed back to the hotel. I forgot which room and floor we stayed on so I texted the Minor and the Birthday Boy, who clearly were still sleeping, because it took what seemed like hours before they responded. When they were finally awake enough to function, I went back to town with them and showed them all the places I found.

Later that night, since it was a Saturday, we went back to the club Minor was telling us about earlier. I wore my new outfit I had purchased at the mall and just prayed to God it was acceptable. Apparently most Charlotte clubs have a dress code, so when I went to the mall I was so stressed out about buying clothing I normally would never consider wearing, unless I was going to either a job interview, church or a funeral.

So we get to the club and I take one glance around the room, and HUNNY, I could not help but notice this one man wearing unfitted, torn at the bottom jeans, a rank-ass T-shirt and some damn flip flops! Then there were a few other queens wearing DENIM, prancing around the floor topless, sweaty as fuck and dancing like the place is a strip club and WE’RE the strippers who need to get dat munny to take care of our meth addiction…

Not that I’m judging anybody. I was told to dress and act like I was going to the Oscars, but I arrive and find out that I am actually at the one shitty prom where the chaperons snort cocaine and fuck the students. We met some nice people though, but still I was disappointed and we ended up going back to the hotel, where we should’ve stayed the entire time. I have hella fun with my friends, it just seems like it’s harder when we try to mingle amongst the people and be social. It’s definitely a learning experience and Hunny, we gotta get it right at some point!


Our next trip was to Columbia and yes, the Carolina one. We went to attend its Pride parade and reconnect with a dear friend of ours.

The car ride was a bit tight because The Minor was driving his newer car, the Hyundai. I wished that minor would have driven his Prius over his other car, which obviously isn’t as fuel efficient as the Prius. The Hyundai may come off a tad bit sexier than the Prius with the whole stick shift thing, but oh well. I’m just sayin’, not complainin’. I try to never fight a driver.

We arrived at Pride and what can I say? it was nice! There were various musical performances, the place was crawling with lesbians and gays, there were a few hags and supporters here and there… No complaints at all. I enjoyed the Drag show that the Ru Paul’s Drag Race people put on. My favorite girls were

Jessica Wilde

I thought she was so beautiful, had good energy and pretty funny

and Nicole Paige Brooks.

this bitch had such a potty mouth and was very quick with comebacks ad snarky remarks. I was eatin’ it all up!


My ONLY problem was that I didn’t want to buy drinks, but I also didn’t bring my own alcohol. I met a few people, but no one that I really wanted to give any more of my time to. The sexiest thing at Pride for me was that damn Turkey leg! I wish I could have had one, but the people at the Brazilian booth only accepted cash.

It’s all good though… NOT!!

Later that night we went out to some club where I was going to meet up with a friend. He said it was a pretty popular club, but I was too intoxicated to remember everything. I do know I had fun, though. I can’t say the same for my friends. The next day I was given SO MUCH shit for it! Literally, every time my friends do anything I want, they end up hating it, or they have to warm up to the idea. I guess since it’s usually just me against the world, it’s fine whenever anyone wants to slap my hopes and dreams in the face.

We plan on doing a lot more trips which I find exciting. It really feels good being on the road again and making new experiences, but like I said, hopefully we can get it together as far as day time activities go and being in agreeance to something.


Thanks for reading!


Hunny, tell me 'bout it!

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