Shout out to all the best friends that are still ride-or-die. They’re always there for you, constantly think of your well being, want to turn up with you all the time, make you laugh even when the situation is un-laughable, and will hit you up for no reason at all, just because they care, or are feeling just as lonely as you are without having to mention it.
I like to think the people I spend most of my free time with are exactly like as described above, but obviously, to have the perfect group of friends, a lot of observation and weeding out is necessary. I’ve known one of my best friends since freshman year of college. We sat next to each other in our mandatory freshman class. We never spoke a word to each other, but somehow, the universe still brought us together. I’ve made out with her, took her on unofficial dates, enjoyed every single time I had the chance to be in her presence ; we’ve both seen each other at our lowest and highest moments in life and we’ve even revealed our genitals to each other just for the heck of it. She was the first person I’ve ever officially come out to without any types of fear. We’ve shared hopes and dreams with each other and promised to pursue them together.
Despite how life changing having known this woman has been to me, our friendship has ended (or at least it will never be as it once was). Growing up in the military, I’ve found that there is always an end to a good thing. There are people from my childhood I still think about to this day. They may not remember the fuck out of me, but they meant something to me at that specific moment in time. I’ve become accustomed to cherishing memories and moments, rather then the actual people themselves. “People come and go” that’s, like, one of the oldest sayings in the book. For anybody who actually reads books, or comics, or at all, you know when the end has come.
Like a good-ass book, this girls has enlightened, delighted, entertained and awoken things in me that I never knew were in me. Just by being around her, I’ve learned of ways to handle (some) things in a manner that remains respectful, but assertive. The downfall was when I gave her a dose of her own medicine. I try to be there for a friend even if it inconveniences me; I make it a point to never ask for too much, which might make me sound fake during times when the truth comes out, but I usually try to maintain the “truth” for whenever the other person is getting too out of control.
My issue with this said friend was that she was always used to getting her own way, no matter what the circumstance was. Most of the time, I had no real issue with doing what she asked of me; most of the time, I wasn’t doing anything anyway. However, the one time I showed assertiveness of what I wanted from her in a way I know she would have (only because I’ve seen it), she retaliated in a fashion I had never expected from her. Over something as stupid as spitting game on a person, who had no intentions of getting involved with her in the first place. I only know because I asked the bitch who apparently was keeping us from leaving the club. Yeah, I was breaking the Bro code, but DAMN, it was time to go!
My friend gnarled, kicked, said vicious things, such as “you’re dead to me!”, and I did my best to not be disrespectful, but assertive. It was never my intention to embarrass, hurt or annoy her, but apparently I did, and I do not regret it at all. The ONE TIME I tried to be a true friend, in all that a friend is defined to be, I lose a friend.
Since I do not see a fault in what I’ve done, I just assume that this is the end of a portion of my life. The end of a chapter. The end of a book from an ongoing series.
We attempted to make amends, but it was too soon, so just for now I plan to be cordial, since I don’t want other friends to suffer from the beef that’s between us two.
Thank you for being apart of my life, and teaching me what you have, but for now, Hunny, we partin’ ways.
Thanks for reading!